The blogger bought a new car recently, and in the process became conversant in car colors. While most manufacturers add some exotic adjective to a color name, Volkswagen provides a whole paragraph. Here are his comments on 2010 Routan colors. (By the way, Volkswagen replaced Atlantis Blue—the color of my 2009 Routan SEL, with Tanzanite. In fact, they may be the same color and Volkswagen wanted to remove 2 blues from the list.)
Good god. The Routan has eight new shades, or perhaps one new shade, and seven renamed shades. Take a deep breath.
Antigua Blue: "Clean, simple and pure. It's like a huge vanilla ice cream cone that never melts." And it's Downy fresh...well, it's the shade of fabric softener. Blue vanilla? See, I just told you the shade without all this nonsense. Though I'm too butch to use fabric softener...or hand sanitizer.
Cala Lily White: "Clean and untouched. Here's carte blanche to make your mark." Sounds like a Madonna song...looks like Moby Dick.
Cocoa Bean: "Dark, rich and delicious like the treat it's inspired by." They know they need to manipulate the wife into wanting this. Men are going to manipulate their way into a 4x4.
Mercury Silver: "Lustrous, mysterious, mercurial. Like quicksilver. Now you see it, now you don't." Like your vampire boyfriend. Or bon bons.
Tanzanite: "A shaded medley of sapphire blue, violet and burgundy that glimmers like a rare gemstone." Good god. It's like an ad for Jareds.
Pomegranate Red: "Mouthwateringly fresh. Ready to be picked and savored." But don't dip your chips in it. Maybe a shade darker than salsa. Maybe.
Noctune Black: "Sophisticated, stylish, and trendsetting. Noctune Black is the new black."
Meteor Gray: "Elegant and out of this world, ready to enter the earth's atmosphere in style." These last two are more butch than their descriptions, which still are a bit estrogen-heavy.
